THE BLOG

You Are Not Your Titles.

titles Jun 23, 2020
 

If we think about all of the titles that you have had through your lifespan, you'll realize you have carried a lot of different titles that you may not have even been aware of. Newborn. Toddler. Kindergartener. Middle Schooler. High Schooler. Graduate. College Graduate. Wife. Husband. Parent. Employee. Well, today I want to talk about how these titles form us in the wrong ways and how to let go of the titles we've been given.

The titles we're given

While there are some titles (like the ones I listed) that most of us have been or will be given, there are also titles that are unique to different people. Things like:

  • Painter
  • Author
  • Musician
  • Poet
  • Athlete
  • Introvert
  • Extrovert
  • Enneagram number ___

Now I want you to take a moment to think about your specific titles that you might carry. If you're struggling to come up with ideas, maybe this next exercise will help.

Tell me about yourself

If you were to meet someone new or sit down for a job interview, someone may say to you, "Tell me about yourself."

Now, as you begin to think about your answer, start to pay attention to all the parts of your answer that contain your titles.

"I'm a mom to 4 kids, I've been married (wife) for 12 years. I'm a business owner and a marathon runner!"

Ok. Fair enough. But, if you pause for a moment you'll realize that all of these things are titles that (unfortunately) could be taken away from you.

We can lose titles

While no matter what happens in life, I will always call myself a mom, I could very well lose the part of my life that requires me to be active in being a mom. Not necessarily through the death of a child, but also through them leaving home. When my kids move out, I will no longer be a mom to them every day like I currently am right now.

My marriage could fail, my business could tank, and I could injure myself and never be able to run again. (PS I am definitely not a marathon runner. I'm not even an around-the-block runner.)

But what happens is, we often allow ourselves to be defined by these titles. Then if and when one of those titles is taken away, we feel we have lost part of ourselves. Part of our identity.

Our titles and our identity

While family is a heart issue, for sure, there are those titles that we cling to that can really lead to unhealthy ways of living. For example, when we either congratulate or berate ourselves based on a job title.

Most people allow their job titles to define them. They allow them to define their worth as a human being. This can go wrong in so many ways. Not only if you were to lose your job, but also if you were to leave a job that you loved to have a title you believed would add to your value.

Redefine who you are 

So now, if someone were to ask you about yourself, what could you say that includes no titles that you've given yourself?

Would you struggle to explain yourself? Could you come up with words to say who you are?

It's extremely challenging.

A philosopher was once asked, "Define what is real." His response was, "Anything that is real is anything that never changes."

So for some of us, we understand that God is real. He is never changing. God is constant. Others might call it the universe.

But don't be so quick to forget about that part of you that is consistent. Your soul. Your being. Who you are under your ever-changing body and titles. That is what is real.

The constant "I"

You may have called yourself so many titles through the span of your life, but one thing you have always used in sentences is "I" right? I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a business owner.

That "I"...that's your constant. We often get distracted by the titles and believe that those words are who we are and forget about that never-changing "I".

Who am "I"?

When you no longer have those titles to cling to, if there is a day when they are stripped away, it is so important for you to have a realization about who you are. About what it means when you say, "I".

Write it down.

You will make mistakes. This will be a struggle. Because you'll run into additional titles, things like:

  • I am stubborn
  • I am level headed
  • I am a dreamer
  • I am an optimist

These titles are OK. Because...baby steps. Try to avoid the titles that could be lost in a day.

Titles are gone. Who would you still be?

Take some time today to write down and re-define yourself. If you didn't have to fit within the box of one of your titles. If the expectations for that title were gone, who would you be? How would you define yourself?

This might sound totally crazy. BUT, if you can take the time to do this, you have the potential to slowly begin to completely transform your life!

Feel like sharing? Leave your new description of yourself in the comments!

 

 

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