Intro
About 8 ish years ago now I started reading Wayne Dyer. And if you’ve been following me long enough you know he is the reason my life has changed for the better – although he would say he is not the reason, I am the reason, he was merely the teacher. So fine, have it your way Wayne.
I first read his book called Wishes Fulfilled and the short version was that this book told me I could have whatever I wanted. Not just like stuff, or the latest shoe trend…but that big dream I had in the back of mind since I was a kid. That inner part of my being that said, “You were meant to stand in the spotlight” – I could have THAT.
Better yet, he told me that THAT wasn’t wrong. That it wasn’t wrong to want big things for my life, it wasn’t wrong to want amazing things and that it just very well might be placed on my heart for a reason. It just might be my purpose. My natural instincts.
Just like a squirrel learns to collect nuts, and trees decompose in a way that feeds other trees – I as a human was born with a distinct mission I was meant to go on and THAT was why those dreams wouldn’t leave me heart.
First of all, I didn’t know anyone else knew about those dreams. I didn’t know it was maybe…normal for them to be there. I thought they were just childish fantasies that I needed to suppress because they were “unrealistic.”
The weirdest part was, the books I read KEPT giving me a clearer picture of what it was that I wanted for my life…even though I would still spend years not believing it was possible for me.
If that’s you. If you know what I’m talking about, if you have that calling, that ache in your heart that is telling you there is more, then this podcast is for you, my beautiful friend. Let me share the message with you that Wayne shared with me all of those years ago… that that calling on your heart is there for a reason. It’s just as natural for you to want those big things for your life as it is for you to want water when you are thirsty and I want to help give you a clearer picture on how to attain those things…
Because unfortunately, following the calling of your heart can be a lot tougher than just getting a glass of water.
Connecting to your calling
Raise your hand if you’ve spent your whole life being told what is and isn’t possible for you.
“You can’t get into college if you’re not good at math.” - story of my life
“You can’t make it as an actress, you’re too fat.” - This was something the beautiful Kate Winslet was told no doubt by a man drama teacher and it still floors me. Number one that she was called fat and number two that she didn’t let that stop her.
“No one will listen to what you have to say unless you have a PHD by your name.” - This was my own limiting belief that I told myself when I read Wayne Dyer’s books and thought…
“THIS is what I want to do!”
As I read his books I felt this desire to do what he was doing. I wanted to breathe life into people. I wanted to encourage them, to make them believe they were possible, that what they want is possible. I wanted to spend my days reading books, applying things to my life and then passing on what I had learned to other people who might want to make the same changes in their own lives.
But just as instantly as my heart skipped a beat at the idea, I quickly told myself it wasn’t possible.
I read more books, 2 that stand out about authors who wrote while traveling and made an income from it. I wanted that. But I wasn’t a writer. I had nothing to write about. I didn’t have any formal training.
There was no shortage of ideas for me to shoot down and now – as I type this out so that I can read these words to you to share the wisdom I’ve gained I can’t help but smile to realize that I no longer believe some bulshit about it not being possible.
Making room for the new
But how do you even start to believe it’s possible? My instinct was to get rid of anything that didn’t align with this new vision for who I wanted to be. Maybe I still didn’t believe it was totally possible – but in the back of my mind there was a thought going, “...maybe.”
So I started making space for it to come into my life.
I didn’t need the high heels shoes. I didn’t need the jewelry. I didn’t require decorative wall hangings.
None of this stuff was actually necessary for me to embody the teacher that I wanted to be and in fact I quickly realized that it wasn’t just unnecessary, it was holding me back and keeping me confused as to what I was meant to do and be.
I bought the shoes to try and seem impressive to other people. I wore the jewelry because it was what other women were wearing and I assumed these other women were better than me.
Then I had to sit with the realization of why I bought this house. “People will take me more seriously as a photographer if I live in a big home.”
The thought had always been there, but I was never forced to face it until this point.
Every thing I had been buying, everything I wore, owned, and used to decorate was all attached to some belief that said I wasn’t good enough as I was.
Who was I then?
I was so covered up with cheap jewelry, cute shoes and the latest decor, I wasn’t even sure who I was and i was on a mission to find out by getting rid of anything that might be hiding me.
That’s what my first decluttering felt like…it felt like digging down deep into a mound of stuff hoping I would be able to find myself at the bottom.
If I could find myself, then maybe I could find what I wanted, who I was meant to be and what I was capable of.
This was my first step in telling the world, I no longer was interested in what other people wanted for me. I was no longer interested in what people wanted me to look like, dress like, act like…and in doing that I sent the message out to the universe that I was ready to receive whatever it was I was meant to be doing – completely detached from their thoughts and opinions.
Leaving your comfort zone
Of course, it wasn’t the fast or that easy. I continued to knock down limiting beliefs. I feared shining my greatness because I KNEW there were those in my life who would close their eyes when I started to shine. I was afraid to leave behind who I was because at one time I really liked that girl.
I liked making people laugh – it was always at the expense of another person – but they were laughing and at me…if I gave up cutting down other people…would I still be funny? Would people still laugh.
Would I be attractive? I liked when Tom would make his little caveman noises when I walked into a room all dressed up…if I stopped dressing up would he still make those same noises?
Leaving behind who we have adapted ourselves to be can be so hard, but I promise you, there is freedom on the other side.
I saw a movie once that referenced the devil and how the devil would not put us in a painful, torture chamber like we might have imagined since we were kids, but instead he would put us in a comfortable room where we had everything we wanted. He would make us content…so that we would never leave…or maybe even realize we were in a chamber.
What is outside of your comfort zone?
After the shedding of literal objects, there was a shedding of limiting beliefs, people, events that I would agree to, old habits that were holding me back.
Even after I was done digging to the bottom of the pile of stuff, I realized there was so much more digging I still needed to do, but every time I eliminated one more item, one more mindset that was keeping me blocked…every time I was willing to let go of one more thing I felt myself get one step closer to me.
I started hearing me more, I started knowing MORE what was meant for me, and even better yet, I started believing it was possible.
How to believe it’s possible
If you doubt yourself and you doubt your dream, helping yourself shift to a mindset of belief is not as hard as it might seem.
Here is a basic starter kit:
Consume information from those who believe it’s possible: I read books, listened to podcasts, teachings, recordings from teachers who told me it was possible, that my dreams were valid and that STUFF wasn’t of any real value in my life.
Find those who did it before you: You know when you see someone who just bought a new car, or a woman who is smiling confidently in a bikini and you roll your eyes and call them arrogant or materialistic? These are your signs that you want something they have.
Maybe you don’t want their car, but you want yours paid off – maybe you don’t want their body but you want to feel confident in your own.
Instead of berating people who have what you don’t, start celebrating their wins.
One thing I did when I saw a life coach on TikTok–who started around the same time as me– start doing well, being seen by places like Yahoo! Or getting book deals. I would shut down my jealousy and celebrate.
I believe she is showing up with the hope to make the world a better place and to share her knowledge with the world – which means she’s on the same mission as me – which means we’re a team (even though she doesn’t know it) – which means I’d better celebrate her wins!!
Doing this allows us to continue to align with what it is we are meant ot have. The second we shut down someone who has accomplished something big – that is the second we begin losing ourselves again.
Spend time with you: Lastly and probably most importantly, if you want ot hear you better…you have got to get comfortable with YOU! Mediation, breath work, even just talking a walk alone. When you feel yourself get triggered by something, investigate what it was without feeling the need to cast judgment on it.
Learn what makes you laugh – what makes you cry – and why?!
Study yourself and in doing so you will begin to understand everyone else better as well.
Minimalism is a gateway drug
What I’m saying is that if you let it, minimalism can be a gateway drug to getting everything you ever wanted for your entire life – even if you haven’t let yourself believe it is possible yet!
You might not take the exact same steps that I took. It won’t go the exact same way, guarantee it….but I hope you can learn to see how letting go of more and more and more and more stuff inside and out – is truly the key to helping you tap into unlocked potential that you might be hiding beneath the surface.
You can begin to hack your whole life using minimalism as a tool to make it happen – i know I did.
